A few days ago, Jack and I had a rift.
As a parent of a toddler, your first rift with your child when they are able to express their anger is a bit jarring. Toddlers just don't have that filter to find the appropriate level of anger at a situation. So they go from defcom 1 to 5 in about 5 minutes.
We spent the night at John's parent's house because we have done some work at the house that day and the fumes were still too strong. Faced with midnight asphyxiation or slumber party at Nana and Papa's, we went with the latter. Fun for all, tra la la. Until the next morning. John left early for work and I got the kids ready for school. Let me point out that Jack dressed in his uniform so there was no mystery about him going to school that day. But upon my saying, "OK, let's get in the car", Jack freaked. It began with no. Then it was No. Then NO. Once the NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! started I knew I had better move quick. By the time I had him at the car, he was doing that anoying arching back thing that makes it impossible to get your kid strapped into the car seat. I had to literally lean on him with my body while I buckled. Quick sorry smile and wave to Nana and we were off. With my child screaming out the window "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" and his sister looking confused at the sudden volume of our school ride.
For the next 15 minutes I endured constant screams and kicks to the back of my seat. You know, this is when you can understand how easy it is to lose it as a parent. I turned on the radio- LOUD. I sang to Alex. I focused on the road because god forbid I should have an accident because I'm thinking about how much I want to turn around and clamp my hand over my son's mouth. Mainly, I just tried to let him work through it. I thought he would get tired and just slump. But that little bugger kept screaming the entire way to school, into the parking lot, and into the school.
There are few things worse than to have to carry your screaming child into school. Everyone's watching, you feel embarrassed, there is little privacy to try and play out the scene with your child. I got Jack to his room and kneeled down and asked for a hug. And at that moment, he tried to swat me. I say "swat" because "hit" sounds so mean and I can't bear thinking of Jack wanting to hit me, but I know he did. At that point, I walked out of the class.
Anyway, that afternoon when I picked him up, all seemed better. I asked him if he was still mad at me or if we were friends. (Jack often asks me if we can be best friends). His response was "No, not now. I'm daddy's friend". There it was, straight through the heart. "OK, well let me know when we can be friends again, " I replied.
It is now two days later, and Jack came to the side of my bed this morning and said "Mom, can we be best friends?"
Of course we can.
We had my brother and his family down for the weekend and had all the kids in bed together for stories before we tucked the three oldest in Jack's bunk beds and sent Alex off to her crib for the night. Needless to say, there was much chit-chat in the bunk beds for a long time after lights out. I loved hearing all the back and forth in the monitor. Talk about seahorses and turtles (Jack has stickers of the ocean on the underside of the top bunk), what their favorite book was, how bright the light is, and lot of whispers and giggles.
