Like a path over water...with sharks below

Sometimes raising children feels like you're walking on rocks across the water, balancing precariously, watching the steps coming up, remembering the steps behind and watching where your foot falls, all at once. The adventure begins at once and suddenly you find yourself out over water.

Every once in a while, you feel a bit like there might be a shark below. (yes, I know, it's just a goldfish. Give me a little wiggle-room for poetic license. )

Sometimes, you just want to stop and stay on your rock, not move forward one inch.

But when you do, you feel the exhilaration and awe at watching your child's next step into something big.

He's figured it out!

Jack informed me the other night while he was in the tub that he was a boy.

[Uh oh]

Then he told me that I was a girl.

[I can see it coming]

Mom, you don't have a penis. I have a penis.

[wait for it...]

You have a gina.

[And close curtain]

As the Toddler Turns-Episode 1

Thanks for tuning into As the Toddler Turns, where we discuss the latest weird toddler phase to arrive at our house. This week...

The Hand

Jack's latest phase involves putting his parents in their place, Unfortunately, this is usually directed at Daddy. Because this phase involves mommy-worship. And Daddy is...well...no Mommy. Because I'm Mommy, I am loved and adored, except when I give him an answer he does not want to hear. Then I am given the hand as well.

The hand treatment usually starts as a question:

Jack: Can I bring this toy to school?

Daddy: No, toys stay at home. They can't go to school.

Click, whir, crunch- that is the sound of "the hand" phase kicking in.

Jack: No Daddy [holds up his hand palm out, as in "Talk to the hand"] I was asking Mommy. Mommy, can I bring this toy to school?

Mommy: No, toys stay at home. They can't go to school.

Sometimes Jack even goes so far as to shush Daddy or tell him "Don't talk". Sometimes it even results in a timeout for inappropriate talk back to parents.

I tell Dad, this too shall pass. Use the time to enjoy not being the go-to parent.