Hell
PO Box Defiant Toddler
Time Out, Tantrum 78730
Testing the limits. That's what the experts say he is doing. I think he is testing them at 55 mph and hoping to just run us over.
Scenario:
Jack walks into room, sees Alex playing quietly, runs over and pushes her.
"Jack, do not push your sister"
"She was pushing me"
"If I see you do it again, you are going into time out"
After 40 more times of saying this, I decide I have to stick to my guns. I haul him upstairs and put him in his room, with him yelling "Noooooooooo!" the whole way. Just like any good disciple of Supernanny, I crouch to his level, explain why he is going in time out. He turns around and throws something at me. I leave and shut the door.
Please let me now elaborate on the Phases of Time Out:
Escape: Jack decides he will not be limited to his room and certainly won't participate in time out. So he dismantles the "child-proof" door knob cover and open the door to come out. (Hello inventors, did anyone test these products past the newborn stage????) I lead him back in and shut the door.
Pissed Off: Jack decides to show me how displeased he is with time out. He opens the door and throws the dismantled door knob cover at me. It's like he is defiantly showing me "I will not be contained!" Then he yells "Roooooooar!" to show me he's angry. I shut the door.
Defiance: He opens the door and stands in the doorway, yelling "Keep this door open!" I shut the door. In fact, this time, because in my brain it is most important to keep the door shut, I hold the door closed. Jack hits and kicks on it. Something heavy-maybe a piggy bank, hits the door. Ouch, that caused some paint damage!
Release: The kicking and hurling of objects stops. The yelling stops. Suddenly, the most pitiful cyring begins. "Mommy, I'm sorry. I don't want to be in time out. I don't want to be in here."
Ahhh, that's it. Now he has broken out the heavy artillery that hits right at the heart of Mommy. Because who can resist their child pleading for forgiveness and help. I count 30 more seconds in my head, singing a tune to drown out the toddler pleas which are carving up my insides. I go back in. Again, supernanny inspired approach. Repeat why he's in time out. Ask for apology.
The hug is all that matters to me.
2 comments:
so, do your son & my son secretly email each other & swap parent-tormenting-tips? SURELY they've been reading the same copy of The Defiant Toddler Handbook, right?
Gage does the saaaaaaaaaaame thing. Except...he doesn't have a little sister to torment, and the manipulation/guilt trip of "I'm sorry mommy" starts as I lift his little body to put him in time-out. When that doesn't work, that's when the mondo-destructive-beastie-baby comes out.
Ain't Motherhood Grand!?
We must be neighbors in hell. I am so there.
Post a Comment